A First-Timer’s Guide to Spending 3 Days in Lisbon, Portugal

Ahh, Lisbon. I’m saying that as if Lisbon, Portugal has been a topic of much-had conversation over the years. Which it has not. I mean, do YOU know anything about Lisbon? Other than it’s the capital of Portugal? (It is the capital of Portugal, right?) I ask this because… before I booked 3 days in Lisbon, I didn’t know a thing about Lisbon. Lisbon, Portugal is literally surrounded by world famous cities—Barcelona, Paris, Madrid, Marrakech—and, if you don’t even know where Portugal is, you might not have even known that. Is okay. Nobody blames you. (Least of all me who still can’t pinpoint where she lives on a map of Massachusetts. Somewhere near the shoulder? Elbow? I dunno.)

The reason I booked 3 days in Lisbon in the first place in simple: FREE STOPOVER, Y’ALL! That’s right, people. The Portuguese airline TAP offers a free stopover program, much the same as the one offered by Icelandair. What that means is, on your way to somewhere else (in my case, Munich, Germany for Oktoberfest) you can stop in either Lisbon or Porto, Portugal and spend 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 nights there at no additional airfare cost. They do this as an incentive to get you to visit their country—a country you might never have otherwise visited (guiltyyyyy). And, also, to raise awareness for Portuguese egg tarts. #SaveTheEggTart (not, like, from extinction or anything. I just mean save some for me.)

More on the TAP Stopover Program here. 

During my TAP stopover I spent three full days in Lisbon and operated on a fairly loose plan which is, apparently, the Portuguese way. Whereas I’m usually a down-to-the-minute planner, in Lisbon I simply maintained a casual list of things I wanted to see and do and only a roundabout order in which to see/do them. So what that means is: you get to sleep in this time! During the long weekend I spent in Lisbon (in late September) the temperature hit 100°F every day so, honestly, many things I had on my list got passed up in favor of cooler activities like taking forever to get ready, beer drinking, and refusing to come out of the shade at all costs.

The Lisboa Card gets you free entry into 29 of the top tourist sites, discounts on many others, skip-the-line privileges where applicable, and, what was the biggest help, free travel on all methods of public transportation because does anyone really know how to use those ticket machines anyway? I will literally make it to my destination before I figure out where the coins go. And then I’ll just slither off and pray I didn’t just ride with a bus-full of snitches.

I admit, part of that is probably because of my hyper-paranoia having been robbed in Europe before, but a lot of that is from visibly being followed in crowded areas and my husband nearly getting pick-pocketed in the bathroom at a urinal. (Is that low-down or what? Like that must violate the Bro Code on some level, right?) Also, and I’ll get into this more in a bit, but I’m almost positive my Lisboa Card got jacked while I was being herded onto a tram.

Petty theft (man, I hate that term—nothing about being robbed of your personal property is ‘petty’ to me) is a real problem when traveling in Europe so know your risks. Keep the valuables you travel with to a minimum, carry a purse that zips closed and keep it that way, keep your wallet in your front pocket and your hand in there too when walking through crowded areas. And just basically operate under the suspicion that everyone is trying to rob you. (Because they are. The next week at Oktoberfest a girl had her shoes stolen right off her feet while she was peeing in a stall. Are public restrooms no longer safe spaces? Don’t answer that.) 

For real though, Lisbon is no place for cutesy ballet flats or flip-flops. Every street feels like you’re hiking Everest only it’s 100°F and no one is carrying your bags for you. You’ll be climbing up steep paths, ascending and descending hundreds and hundreds of hundreds-year-old stairs, walking for miles on slick-even-when-dry-for-some-reason tile sidewalks, and you’ll be doing this for your entire 3 days in Lisbon. Wear some real shoes, girl. There’s no place for fashion in Time-Budget Travel. Blisters are not the new black. Unless they are. Which is disgusting.

My advice? Always have a backup plan. Know the various methods of transportation available to you and how to use them. Don’t rely solely on specific trains or buses or taxis because there’s a good chance the operators of the one you want to use will be fighting for fair wages and you’ll be stuck.

My 3 days in Lisbon was actually supposed to be quite different. My last day was supposed to be spent taking one of those incredible day trips from Lisbon everyone talks about. But…. strike. 

The Type-A personalities among you might be like, “Yay! A full first day in Lisbon!” That is, until you get there realize the country ain’t ready for you. For this kind of situation, know that you may need to make special arrangements.

For us, our hostel (not to mention everything else in town) didn’t open until 8:45 am though we arrived in Lisbon at 5 am. I was able to get in contact with the people running the place who gave me, the day before we arrived, the key code to get into the building. Where we were then free to wait until the desk opened at 8:45. And by ‘wait’ I mean sleep in a chair in the lobby for two hours while my husband sleeps on the tile staircase.

⇢ For starters, I got zero sleep on the plane ride over. This is 100% the fault of the airplane meal I ate on the way over. So, okay, I guess it is my fault after all. Regardless, I tell myself everysingletime not to eat the airplane meal and eeeevery time I’m like, “I’ll have the pasta, please.” Lesson #1: don’t eat the airplane food.

⇢ Because of this I was exhausted the entire first day in Lisbon—despite my pathetic two hours trying to sleep like a pretzel in a hostel chair. When Ashley doesn’t get enough sleep, Ashley turns into the Big Bad Wolf who will huff and puff and blow your entire city to the ground. It’s not pretty. Lesson #2: take the Dramamine.

⇢ While a lot of what I ate during my 3 days in Lisbon was freaking delicious, none of it stuck around for very long. Let’s just say it was a long 3 days in which I got to know every bathroom in the city. Lesson #3: bring at least 3 days worth of Pepto Bismol, Tums, and whatever else you pretend to not have in your purse at all times ‘cause you’s a lady. Women are basically that guy from the Aaron Rodgers State Farm Commercial, “I’ve never been in a bathroom. Not once.”

⇢ Halfway through my 3 days in Lisbon I lost my Lisboa Card. Or, rather, I think it was taken from me. The last time I used it I was being herded onto a tram leaving Belém and I mean HERDED. I had no fewer than ten other humans pressed up against my body. I scanned my card on the tram, and by the time we got to our destination it was gone. Lesson #4: Don’t let your guard down for even a second. If even the most paranoid, untrusting traveler with a low-level international spy complex because she watches too many crime-fighting shows of them all can fall victim, so can you.

⇢ So yeah, during our 3 days in Lisbon (and probably long before and after) the city’s taxis were on strike. We used Uber upon landing in Lisbon and therefore remained completely oblivious for the first couple of days. That is, until we needed to figure out how to get to the airport to catch our plane to Munich. We would need to leave a few hours before our 8 am flight, obviously, but there was a big problem. We had no way to get there.

Sure, we could call Uber again, but there are only like three in the city and what are the chances they’re going to be in our area at 6 am? Slim, I was willing to bet. The private cab companies are unreliable at best (so we were repeatedly told). There’s a hotel at the airport we considered staying at the night before but an additional $300/night after we’d already paid for our hostel was redonkulous. I’m a Smith, not a Kardashian. The airport was just a couple miles from our hostel and we legit considered walking. (Walking to the airport dragging our luggage behind us was our solid backup plan. This is why my decision making now has a blood alcohol limit.)

We finally found out there was a night bus we could take that would “totally probably” show up. At 4:30 am. That would take an hour and a half to go the few miles to the airport. Kill. Me. The Night Bus was the new backup plan. On our way to the bus stop at 4:30 am I took a chance and was able to snag the Uber. Kudos to Lisbon’s insomniac Uber driver! Lesson #5: Always have a backup plan. And then another.

⇢  Temperatures remained between 90-100°F our entire 3 days in Lisbon. Look, I’m from the South. I love the heat and have zero issue with it. My body is fully capable of handling it. HOWEVER. In Lisbon, there was no relief from it. At least in Tennessee we know how to cool our homes and businesses to sub-zero temperatures when the thermometer rises above 70°F. Our room at the hostel had no air and no window to open. The restaurants and cafés have no air. The only two places in Lisbon that have air conditioning that I could find? A weird furniture/school supply store, and a church in the Bairro Alto.

Now, before you get all self-righteous on me, I know this is Europe. I know air conditioning is virtually non-existent here. So, Lesson #6: Bring a fan. A foldable one, a piece of cardboard attached to a popsicle stick, or a battery-powered one like I saw some people doing. It’s the only thing that will save you from chewing your husband’s head off on a daily basis. Lesson #6.1: Book a hotel that has air conditioning and make sure of it first. It just may save your marriage.

⇢  Two out of our 3 days in Lisbon, we had to suffer through a series of government protests. This wouldn’t have been such a big deal had it not been directly outside our room’s window. And we were on ground level. Drums banging, horns blowing, whistles, screaming, collective chanting, and—because this is how they do it in Portugal—craploads of alcohol. Lesson #7: Bring earplugs.

⇢  Before I booked my Portugal stopover I did a wee bit o’ reading on Lisbon and what I kept reading was that it’s a “budget destination”. People kept comparing it’s affordability to Prague’s. Score! You can basically live like royalty in Prague even if you, say, blog for a living. Move over, Beckhams! I’ve got a hundo in my pocket and I’m ready to spend it… on Portuguese egg tarts and to heal whatever wounds I incur from walking to the airport.

Fast forward to about a month before the trip: Okay, then why can’t I find a place to stay for less than $500/night? There was barely a hotel room left in the city. We ended up booking a private room at a hostel for > $100/night. Budget destination, my ass. Turns out, there was a huge, weekend-long soccer tournament happening right there in the city center driving up all the prices. Lesson #8: Maybe find out if there are any major events planned in your destination before buying a plane ticket?

Each miradouro in town is unique and offers its own unique views. I wanted to fit in as many of these as I could. So I settled for three.

Cervejaria Ramiro (cervejaria meaning ‘a place you get beer’ so, no, I don’t understand why they’ve called it that—I mean, I did get a beer there so…), which just so happened to be across the street from our hostel because there is a god, is the most popular restaurant in Lisbon. Don’t believe me? Check out the line down the sidewalk at any hour of any day (except Monday when they’re closed, and except, thankfully, around 4:00 pm). I was a favorite of Anthony Bourdain, that goof from Somebody Feed Phil, and my husband who would totally fly all the way back to Lisbon for a repeat.

Why visit Cervejaria Ramiro? Ramiro is a seafood lover’s paradise. They sell everything under the sun sea here and all prepared in a minimalist, uncomplicated fashion—the best way to prepare seafood, in my opinion. Most of the stuff on the menu will be stuff you’ve never heard of—so order all of it! We went with some stinky cheese, local oysters, clams, tiger prawns, and a spider crab whose body was then used as a vessel for a soup made from its other parts. It was deliciously barbaric. Had we been able to go back a second time like we planned, I would’ve also gotten the goose barnacles, some langoustines, and a bunch of other unidentified creatures that I could only point to.

Eating at Ramiro is serious business. It’s the kind of place that serves steak sandwiches for dessert and almost everything you order comes with a legit mallet and pounding board. Prepare to spend a lot of time here, maybe injure a thumb, and to leave covered in butter and the various juices of sea creatures. Some of which came from table next to you.

Pro tip: The menu is impossible to figure out so ask the waiter how much of everything he thinks you should get. (And yes, I said ‘he’ because I didn’t see a single female working in this joint.) Also, BYOB. Bring your own bib.

After our time at Ramiro we were both too full and too exhausted to accomplish much else. We strolled around our part of town and ended up at a plaza full of bars and makeshift food stands and hung out until I fell asleep with my eyes open. Finally, bedtime! I’ve been looking forward to this for the last 48 hours.

To start the day we hopped a tram to Belém which is pretty much a part of Lisbon but like, you can’t walk there. You can take either tram 15 or tram 127 to get there and you can grab those at either Praça do Comércio (the main square from Day One) or, as we did because of proximity (coughlaziness), Praça da Figueira. These trams come in two versions: the larger, more modern, AIR CONDITIONED version, or the super old, should-have-been-decommissioned-by-now, un-air conditioned version my husband made us take because of availability and lack of patience. They pack these trams in tight and just when you think you’ll be fine if you can get your head out the window like a retriever on a road trip, the tram stops and somehow, against all laws of physics, more people get on. None of who have showered.

Why visit Pasteis de Belém? Pasteis de Belém is where the whole egg tart thing got started so obviously they’re the best in town. That also means you’re going to wait in a wicked long line. Unless you don’t want to?

Pro tip: The long line you see down the sidewalk is only for to-go orders. If you want to sit down at a table and eat your pasteis like a civilized traveler (just kidding, I’d already been standing up for an hour aka too long), just walk inside (yes, past all the people who simply got in line because it was there) and grab an empty table. The place is huge so you may end up going in way deeper than expected. There’s no AC in the joint but, and here’s another PRO TIP, try to get a seat in the back sunroom—they have misters! Also, the other stuff on the menu is great too—try a chicken pie. I mean, it is lunchtime at this point.

The Time Out Market is my kinda eatery: a hundred different places to get a thousand different kinds of food. You see, I’m a big “sampler” and I have pretty strong culinary commitment issues. At the Time Out Market you can get a lil of this, a lil of that, a whole buncha Iberian ham.

Why visit the Time Out Market? Here, you can try all the Portuguese staples you don’t want to commit an entire meal to such as: sardines, various other canned fish products, jamón (okay so it’s Spanish but I don’t care because it’s heavenly), cheeses, Port wine, local beer, and, of course, pasteis de nata.

Pro Tip: People will try to steal your wallet whilst you urinate so… just say no to urinals. Yup, that is my actual real tip for the Time Out Market.

Wanna take a guess at how we ended Day Two? Ding Ding Ding! We sat in a local square and drank beer at an outdoor table. You’re getting really good at this. What we were going to do, had we not still been exhausted and had I been feeling closer to 100%, was see a Fado show. I would totally recommend seeing some Fado while you’re in Lisbon, though I can’t recommend any experience specifically. Sorry, I realize this is the first time I’ve let you down. Please accept my profuse apologies. When I do make it to a Fado show, I’ll update the crap outta this sum’bitch.

Personally, I didn’t make it to the top but that’s not for lack of desire. You know I love a good viewpoint. Admission to the top of the arch is included in the Lisboa Card, but having just had mine taken from me, my stubborn ass refused to pay the measly $3 admission price to go up. It’s the principle, damn it! What? I never claimed to be a rational human being. Hella fun at a holiday party? Yes. Rational? Not even a little.

The rest of 3 Days in Lisbon: Day Three was spent stressing over how to get to the airport in the morning and asking everyone I came across if they thought the night bus would run. And if it was really a purple triple-decker driven by a shrunken head with a Jamaican accent.

For instance, the place was super clean and well-kept, breakfast was provided, and the staff was friendly. On the other hand, it was hot AF in our room (I think the dorm part was maybe better), our room was below ground-level so we couldn’t crack our window open at night (people kept throwing trash in it like DUHH), and we had an issue with paying that lasted a full two months after our stay which eventually ended with me depositing money into a Chinese PayPal account. I’m LOL’ing at just the sound of that.

Pro: our room even had a hair dryer, Con: it was way too hot to even think about using it. Pro: we had our own personal bathroom, Con: it took us an entire minute to lock and/or unlock our door with the outdated key system and I was legit terrified of what to do in case of fire. Pro: the location was great and the building was secure, Con: our room felt more like a cinderblock prison cell than it did a hotel room.

All in all, I think the place would be great if you were to stay in one of the dorm rooms instead of a private room as most of the problems I had with the place were room-specific. That being said, go here to read reviews on TripAdvisor or, if you’re already convinced, go ahead and book your room now.

⇢ Alternatively, my friend Amanda visited Lisbon right after me, stayed at the Sana Malhoa, and loved it. It’s a little farther out but she said it’s really close to public transportation and they have the best continental breakfast she’s ever had in her life. So that’s something! |Read reviews on TripAdvisor or book your room now!

⇢ Don’t forget, there’s always vacation rentals! (Get one with a view.) Check out Lisbon vacation rentals here!